My Heartsongs

Another summer solstice is almost upon us. So for me, as is my custom, some turning inward. As I have shared a number of times in these brief weekly musings, I have journaled at least monthly for almost 50 years, regularly taking the pulse of my own personal evolution. This usually involves creating some quiet alone time for reflection, contemplation and meditation, offering up what I like to term ordinary transcendent experiences. No bright lights or stigmata on my hands, but clearly heart and mind aligned on a discovery adventure.

 

The unrecognized onion layers of stress effortlessly peel off, revealing a core simply hungry to just be—no phones, computers, internet or planetary bad news. This brief excursion takes me out of myself, so I might embrace an eagle eye’s view, and get out of Dodge, surrender to the timeless wisdom of “sleeping on it.” I invite you to contemplate how you renew yourself, and when and how is the next adventure into that realm going to unfold for you?

I prefer the term centering, but others use grounding, self-regulation, resourcing or calming. I believe they are essentially the same sense of coming home to the body in a way that communicates we are safe, and allows for a pause that prevents us from reacting blindly when triggered, or from withdrawing. Breathing in, I am present to whatever is, Breathing out, I calm myself, and shift to a more empowered state.

#138 Authenticity Rocks! How do we define this for ourselves? What does it mean to be authentic in today’s world? For me there are four essentials: I walk my talk and live congruent with deeply held values. I tell the truth to myself and others. What truth do I hide from myself that, if revealed, I’d be freer? I have developed some degree of emotional fluency, expressing my feelings to myself and others in ways that are not destructive. Finally, I maintain healthy boundaries with my yes, my no and my maybe.  

In my humble opinion, the quality of attention is one of our brain’s greatest assets. Creative imagination, empathic reading of other’s emotional states and problem solving are three of my other favorites— and each of these requires the skillful use of attention. Knowing if it is distracted, divided, dispersed or disrupted can be helpful. I offer a simple practice WAKE, that exercises the focus of our attention and creates connectedness.

 

#136 Thanatopia Part Eight: I Appreciate Various Traditions. The final skill described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. I present musings on Dealing with the body, Appreciating ancestors, Afterlife and Ritual Celebrations. Happy Mother’s Day. My mom died 49 years ago while I was in medical school. I still remember how “off” she looked in the coffin, not at all like her. I can also feel the upset in my body recalling the Catholic priest who came in to say prayers, and consistently mis-pronounced her name as he droned on and on. I wish I had the awareness expressed in this podcast back then.  

 

#135 Thanatopia Part Seven: I Understand The Dying Process. I present the sixth skill described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. Besides delineating the benefits of hospice, topics covered in the evolving manuscript include: making death less scary, visualizing a good death, harsh realities, the right to die, and the arrivederci of being with others through the process.

 

#134 Thanatopia Part Six: I Prepare For A Good Death. I present the fifth of the six skills described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. The broader perspective that aging offers can be uplifting. As part of preparing for a good death, besides the notion of keeping my own death front and center for some daily contemplation, we’ll explore together our relationship to physical pain, how to practice shadow dancing, fashion a legacy, and embrace the healing that has a hundred forms.

#133 Thanatopia Part Five: I Assist Others On The Path I present the fourth of the six skills described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. How to really be there – and still keep a healthy boundary – when caring for aging or dying parents, partners, relatives and friends.

#132 Thanatopia Part Four: I Adjust & Adapt. I present the third of the six skills described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. How might I embrace the changes, be in no resistance to the inevitable decline? There are eight key elements that invite me to adjust and adapt as part of conscious aging: sleep, exercise, stress, humor, play, connect, shed & simplify, driving diapers & other dilemmas.